When Your Mind Won’t Slow Down: Simple Ways to Calm Anxious Thoughts

Anxiety has an impressive ability to turn one uncomfortable thought into seventeen more.

What if this happens?

What if I made the wrong decision?

Why did they say that?

What if something is wrong?

Before long, your brain is trying to solve problems that haven't happened yet.

If you've ever tried telling yourself to “just stop thinking about it,” you've probably discovered how ineffective that advice is.

Instead of fighting anxious thoughts, it can be more helpful to change the way you respond to them.

Name what's happening

Start simply:

“I'm feeling anxious right now.”

Naming an emotion can create a small amount of space between you and what you're experiencing.

Then get curious.

Where do you feel the anxiety in your body?

Is your chest tight? Are your shoulders raised? Is your stomach tense? Are you breathing shallowly?

Take a slow breath and deliberately soften one area of your body.

You don't have to make the anxiety disappear. You're communicating to your nervous system that it doesn't have to stay quite so braced.

Ask: “Is this happening, or am I afraid it might happen?”

Anxiety is often future-focused.

It asks us to emotionally experience something now that may never happen.

When you notice yourself spiraling, ask:

What do I actually know right now?

Separate facts from predictions.

There may be a real problem that needs your attention. If so, identify the next reasonable action you can take.

If there isn't an action available right now, continuing to mentally rehearse the problem usually won't create more control.

Put the thought somewhere

If your brain keeps repeating the same concerns, write them down.

You can even divide a page into two columns:

Things I can do something about

and

Things I cannot control right now

Choose an action from the first column.

Practice releasing—or at least postponing—the second.

Ground yourself in the present

Look around and find:

• 5 things you can see

• 4 things you can physically feel

• 3 things you can hear

• 2 things you can smell

• 1 thing you can taste

Grounding doesn't mean pretending everything is okay. It simply redirects your attention from imagined possibilities to the environment you're actually in.

Give yourself the compassion you'd give someone else

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself when you're anxious.

Are you reassuring—or critical?

Try asking, “What would I say to someone I love if they were feeling exactly what I'm feeling?”

Offer yourself the same patience.

Anxiety often becomes louder when we become anxious about being anxious. You don't have to solve every thought that enters your mind.

Sometimes the most powerful response is simply:

I notice this thought. I understand why my mind went there. And I don't have to follow it.

If anxiety is frequent, overwhelming or interfering with your relationships, sleep, work or everyday life, therapy can also provide a safe place to understand what's underneath it and develop tools tailored specifically to you.